A little thing

Every day we rush around, busy in our own life, and don’t realize all the small things we do or see may really have a big impact.  How do we measure the impact of small acts of kindness? I would guess we don’t see the effect that small act may have on the recipient, we have since moved on.

I travel between several offices for work and one building happens to be next door to animal control. In their parking lot is a kennel where they bring the dogs out for fresh air. There are times, too, when people will find a stray and leave them in the kennel, to be found next day by the animal control employee.   I tend to take a peek to see what might be in the kennel as I go to my building and  admit I am a sucker for a pleading dog face.    Many times I wish I could  take the animal home with me, although that’s obviously not practical.  I would have a thousands animals if I did that.

Recently, I was entering my building and one of the animal control folks was out trying to find a kitten hiding in the hedges.  I put my things down and together we found the kitten.  Poor little thing was so scared. Talking to the employee, I learned the kitten will most likely find a new home.

A few days later I was again traveling to an office when I came to a stop sign. There were a few cars in front of me so I had a moment to observe.   On the corner was a man holding a sign.  He was homeless and hungry and asking for help.  The few cars ahead of me pretty much ignored him, and to be honest, many times I do too. That day however, he caught my  eye and I grabbed a few dollars from my pocket.  As I pulled up to the stop I rolled down the window and handed him the small amount of money.   As I handed him the money my hand touched his, similar to a handshake, and for a moment this man had the realization that someone cared. If even for a moment.

Last summer we were in Portland on the commuter train seeing the city.   Part of the adventure to me is the people watching.  On this particular train was an older woman carrying several bags. Homeless? possibly.   As we got to our stop and exited the train I noticed the woman had a sweatshirt draped over one of her bags, and it was starting to drag on the ground.  She had her hands full with her belongings so I tapped her shoulder and said ” careful you don’t lose your sweatshirt”.  At the same time I helped put it back in her bag since her hands were full.  As I did this she stopped and exclaimed ” Oh thank you! that’s the nicest thing anyone has done for me. Thank you thank you.” That sweatshirt may have been the warmest article of clothing she owned.  To think my small act of kindness meant so much,   I was surprised at that.

Do we just pass by people less fortunate than us and watch as they lose a sweatshirt?  Pass by the homeless man on the corner because he’s down on his luck?  Ignore the kitten because we are in a hurry?  These small acts of kindness took no time at all for me, but what did they mean to them?  A meal, warmth, life?

Take a moment for a small act, you never know how it may impact a life, your own included.

What’s in a name?

I took our dog Henry to the dog park this morning.  Saturday mornings are busy there, and today was no exception.   When we showed up, there were already several other dogs there  and Henry made the rounds of greeting each one.

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We have been coming to the park for about 6 weeks now, and we are  becoming friends with the other owners and Henry with the dogs. Henry will be 6 months old next week and some of the other dogs are the same age.  It’s nice to see them and watch them grow along with Henry.  Sometimes it will be a week or so in between seeing some of Henry’s  friends, but we tend to get a warm greeting when we arrive.   This morning, as we came through the gate and started to walk to where the others were, we were greeted with smiles and  ” OH, Henry is here! Hello Henry”.    I got a smile and a hello directed at me, and it dawned on me, I don’t know their name nor they mine.

Maybe this is dog park etiquette?  I somehow have to earn my way into first name basis?   The dogs run around sniffing each other- I don’t think that would be appropriate in my case.   We exchange pleasantries as we monitor our dogs behavior, and clean up after them, but so far it hasn’t occurred to anyone to actually  exchange names.

As we go along in life we are defined by many things, each one a name.  I am a wife, a mother, sister, aunt, coworker, a friend, Henry’s owner, new blogger.   Most important I am me.  Finding  my spot in the family, and in life.   I don’t always get it right, but I am here, giving it a shot.

On His Own

As a parent, we all worry about our kids, and hope they have a happy fulfilled life as an adult.  We put all our energies in teaching them right from wrong,  manners and basic living skills.  Throw in a diagnosis of autism and a whole new set of worries come up.  Will he  ever drive a car, get a job, live on his own; what will happen when I die?

I have done a  lot of reading and I have a lot of hope for my son. I try to be realistic with regard to his abilities. I know he will never do many things but I know he can do so much.  One book I read was called  A Friend Like Henry – By Nuala Gardner.

Some of her descriptions of her sons behavior were so like my son, I found myself laughing and crying and shaking my head in understanding.  In the story, the family decides to get a golden retriever as a pet/ therapy dog for their son.  They name the dog after Henry the green engine of Thomas the Tank fame,of which their son was a huge fan. .  Remarkably it does wonders for their son. The calmness of the dog gave their son focus and he  began to learn things the family never thought possible.

Recently  we have been reading more about service dogs for our son, and have had conversations regarding the feasibility, expense, benefits and drawbacks of such.  When we started looking we had a small dog- a chihuahua we rescued and didn’t think it was the right time.  After losing our dog to old age and illness, we still didn’t think it right yet for another pet.  Until, of course, our son decided he needed a new pet. He exclaimed he needed a “man dog named Henry”.  I asked him why Henry – thinking because he had a grandpa Henry- nope Henry like the green engine !   Wow I had chills, and hope.

We went about researching some more on service dogs and found that it is possible, but quite costly. I know, what price do you put on independence?  Also we found that it could take over a year to receive the dog.  We were hoping for something faster.  More research on just a new pet.   After much consideration, we decided to look at a golden retriever.

Sept 2 we went to the home where the dogs were. The owners had the mom and dad dog and the puppies. We looked at the 2 males and one came up to me and with his big brown eyes gave me that look.  You all know it.  Pick Me, Pick me.  And we did.  And yes his name is Henry.

For the last 2 months we have all been learning.  Henry is figuring out he lives here, and our son is figuring out he likes his new friend.  We are fortunate enough to live around the corner from the dog park.  Every day we take Henry for his walk and he likes to join his new friends in play. Lately  our son has brought him there by himself, just before I come home from work and I stop on my way, then he takes Henry home.  Our son has a walkie-talkie and dad is at home with the other.  Our son gets upset when I get there because Henry runs to me.  He tells me- NO Henry is with me.  Today our son was allowed to take Henry there on his own- and bring him home on his own.  For anyone who has an autistic child, you may know – this is huge.

Our Henry may not be a trained service dog yet, but he has certainly done wonders for our son. I can’t wait to see how much more our son will grow