Milestones

How do we define milestones in life? What makes one event more noteworthy than another?  I was recently looking on that famous greeting card website for an anniversary year designation, and noticed that there comes a time, after about 15 years, that the designation is rather ho hum.  As if those years don’t really deserve much mention.  Seriously- it said for year 23, the “theme” is air.  Air?  Am I to assume, then,  that I can put a lid on a mason jar and hand it over, for a gift of air?

I have been pondering this because today is my 24th anniversary.  A rather ho hum year according to that famous card company web site.  This years theme is stone.  I wonder, how did we go from a Diamond at year 10 to stone at year 24? Have these past 14 years not amounted to more than a rock?

Let me tell you – 24 years is nothing to sneeze at.  Marriage is so much more than the ceremony and reception.  It is all those small things, those ho hum days and events that never get the recognition they deserve.

The  day he clips a rose from the garden and puts it on the table because it’s pretty.

When she brings him Vernors because he’s been sick, and she knows it will make him feel better.

It’s laughing at your silly jokes, a hug just because, dancing in the kitchen to annoy the children.  Being able to disagree, but know, no matter what, you love them.  It’s laundry and shopping and cooking and cleaning.  Dealing with being sick, aging family and bills.

Marriage is hard, it’s fraught with pitfalls that devour many and  leave many more with bruises unseen.   It’s messy, and stressful and there are three sides to it-his, hers and the truth.

So when I look at that greeting card website that says year 24 is stone- and the big milestone of  year 25 is silver, I can’t help but shake my head and disagree.  Each of these 24 years has been a milestone to celebrate, to shout to all that those ho hum events and days have had as much meaning as that year 25.

So today, on this day of stone for my husband I , I want to publicly shout out to all, that we have persevered through all those ho hum moments.  We have fought and made up, laughed and cried, supported and cheered, and most of all loved each other as we promised we would.  You see, we made a choice, those many years ago, and though it’s been hard at times, I can’t imagine another I would have loved the way I love him.

Happy 24th anniversary my dear love.

Kitchen Kisses

I have noticed lately that much of society has a “throw it out” mentality.  People tend to want the latest, greatest, fancy thing around.  We aren’t often content to appreciate what we have, or fix it if it’s damaged, we toss it and replace it.  It’s rather sad to me, and quite wasteful.  This isn’t exclusive of items, it happens with people as well.

Way back when, in what some may call “the old days”, I don’t think we were such a disposable society. Take marriage for instance. Lately, it seems that people rush into marriage, then, for what seems to be the slightest reason, they get a divorce.  whatever happened to “for better or worse”?  I know, I know, there are reasons why divorce is probably for the best, it just seems a bit too easy these days. I don’t claim to know what goes on in their household, but how do you go from professing your undying love one day, and within a year or two, you are divorced? Maybe they didn’t think through all that is involved in a marriage before they jumped in.  You know, it’s so much more than that fancy wedding and ultimate honeymoon trip.

When I was a teenager, I happened to walk into the kitchen and my dad was giving my mom a kiss and hug.  As any teen might, I made some wisecrack about them smooching in the kitchen.  My father then said ” if you are fortunate enough to find someone, someday, who loves you half as much as I love your mother, you will be very blessed”  With that he gave her another kiss and went on about his day.

Over the years, I have watched my parents do those small niceties toward each other, that keep them happily married.  Little notes taped to the kitchen cabinet,or a true appreciation for even the simplest meal.  I know that my parents have  had challenges over the years, but I also know they didn’t think anything other than working it out was the answer.

After 60 years, they still get caught smooching in the kitchen.

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I have found someone, and I know he loves me.  Is it 1/2 as much and my father loves my mother? I hope so. What I also know is that after nearly 21 years, with all the good and bad, we have worked through it.  And now and then I get a smooch in the kitchen to prove it.